Chapter 8 – Recovery

If someone had told me ten years ago that I would feel this much better after a hysterectomy, I would have saved myself chronic pain for the entirety of my adult life.  I was ready for my first pint two days after I was out of the hospital – and it was glorious.


It certainly wasn’t all peachy though, The hot flushes and night sweats arrived with full conviction, but this is something I was expecting.  And something I wouldn’t need to suffer with too long once HRT was prescribed. (Ha, check chapter 10)  I was walking around supermarkets the day after my surgery, but couldn’t pick up a plate.  I could get myself in and out of the bath, but couldn’t open doors.


The clexane injections are something I could do without, but I’m getting far better at them.  To those of you fortunate enough to have not had them, they are injections to prevent blood clots which I had to inject into my stomach.  The schedule of medicine I needed to take dictated a lot, and I needed to sleep far more than I ever have before.  The nerve damage made this difficult as did the swelling and bruising.  It would take me almost as long to get into a comfortable position as I actually slept for. My stomach was a thousand shades of green, yellow, red and purple. I was swollen to the extent I looked pregnant. But I was wearing false lashes and looked bright eyed and bushy tailed to the rest of the world.


After a long weekend with mother dearest taking care of me, I was ready to return home.  I was only allowed to do this if I met very specific criteria.

  1. I must call Mother Dearest every night.
  2. I must call Mother Dearest if I am in any additional pain.
  3. I must not make my own bed.
  4. I must not make pasta in a pot (due to the weight of it)
  5. I must not lock the door when I go for a shower in case I have a medical emergency.
  6. I must not lock the door when I go for a bath in case I slip whilst getting out.
  7. I must not hoover.
  8. I must take extra care when opening the curtains.
  9. I must not clean the cat litter boxes myself.
  10. I must remember that I am recovering from major surgery.

So, if like me, you found this list completely unnecessary and hilarious, you’ll be glad to know that not only did I injure myself making my own bed, I also hurt myself making pasta, hoovering, opening the curtains, cleaning the cat litter boxes, I became very faint in the shower and fell getting out of the bath.  Mother knows best.  Especially my mother.

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